i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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