mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
