i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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