He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
