Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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