Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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