yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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