He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
