if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
