glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
