I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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