he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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