His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
