I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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