so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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