it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
