I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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