its not stalking. its research.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
