seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
