Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
