My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
