id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Can I color on your dick again?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
