we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
