Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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