I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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