Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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