Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
