Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
