we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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