she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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