do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
