are you still at the devil's house?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
