whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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