Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize