We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
