proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
