Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize