He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
