Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
