i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
