Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
