Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize