I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize