is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
