I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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