Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
