I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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