Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
