i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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