I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
