I will die if light touches me.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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