Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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