So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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