He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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