Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
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I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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