At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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