I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
