I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So much rum. So many feels.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
