Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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