I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
