I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
