anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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