What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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