He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
