Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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