I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
