that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
