i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
