I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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